Is that just human nature? The more you get, the more you want. You get something, then you want bigger and better. You get bigger and better and you want even more...or something different all together. Why can't we ever be content for more than a minute? Why can't we just love and appreciate? I guess it is human nature to just want more. To never be satisfied and if you find that you are, it's only temporary. Life does have a lot to offer and seems that striving for better is good. However when you constantly second guess yourself, and wondering why you settled...it's hard to be satisfied.
I had huge plans for this life. Plans to be someone, to go places and to never ever feel second best again. I was never going to let someone make me feel the way I had been made to feel for a LONG time. I was determined. I searched and searched. I had many unstable relationships (not always serious), I could never really find what made me truly happy. When I finally did, I grabbed on. Was that what I should have done? Should I have found myself before I found someone else?
Here I am. Changed by some ridiculous diagnosis. I hate myself and it's making me bitter. I'm angry! I'm tired. I hurt. All the things I need, those are all unimportant. My fears are dumb. I can't compare. Blah....blah....blah. Is anyone ever going to be enough???